The Depths

I smiled with my sugary sweet fake smile. It was hard like stone and so unnatural, but you don’t notice. How could you when I am “just the friend”?
How much do you really know about me?
Did you know that I get all hot and bothered by just seeing you smile?
Did you know that everything you touch me I want to push you up against the wall and kiss you?
Did you know that my dreams are now dirty and impure because you just said something nice to me?
Of course you don’t. I am “just the friend”. You silly silly boy.
And yet one day you will notice.
Perhaps it will be when I am away and no longer there to look up at you in the most foolishly adoring way.
Perhaps it will be when I walk by without saying anything or even looking at you.
Perhaps it will be when I no longer ask how you felt today or even how you are feeling at all.
You will notice. There will be a sudden dull emptiness in my words. A an uninterested sneer to my smile. A mocking coolness to my eyes.
It is then you will realize. And it will be too late. Because now you are “just the friend”.
I may be mocked for my bluntness. For my cold reality. For my bland truth. But deep within the recesses of everyone's mind they will agree. Wether with pity, bitterness or respect, they will find themselves agreeing.
I am foolish, naive and innocent.
I am stupid, passive and trusting.
I am doomed, waiting and hiding.
I realize all of this but I do nothing for I know what will pass. The feelings I now harbor for you will fade and decay in time. I tried, once upon a time, but you took no notice. You laughed and patted my head with words of blind obtusity.
One day it will be that we changed places. My feelings of passion and longing fulfilled within the arms of a lover who saw beneath the mask, wether by accident or wisdom. And you. Left with the burdening and lead sole suit of “just the friend”.

Sounds... angsty, hm?

just alittle lol but nice

-nervous laugh- heh heh Thank you

np